Setting: A smoky, slightly seedy jazz cafe. A low platform with a solitary mike is dimly lit by one lonely spotlight. An overweight, middle-aged redhead approaches the mike, fidgets with her home-sewn dress and mournfully begins to sing...
Machine Service Blues (sung to the tune of I Left My Heart in San Francisco)
I left my sewing machine at J.B.'s Sew and Vac.
What will I do without it here?
Now I no longer sew
that quilting UFO,
My sewing room is oh so bare, I don't care
My Pfaff waits there at J.B.'s Sew and Vac
Until next week, it waits for me
When it comes home to me from J.B.'s Sew and Vac (big breath for the big finale....)
My UFOs I'll sew again.
The singer exits the stage revealing a slightly wonky invisible zipper.