I've decided that I'm the internet's Designated Security Code Moron. You know what I'm talking about, right? That little line of randomly generated numbers and letters embedded in what seems to be the virtual equivalent of TV static? I'm supposed to type them in so that my comment on a blog can pass muster and my insipid, inane comment can get posted alongside those blessed with more wit and charm than I could ever hope to possess. I'm not sure just how it's supposed to protect the blog owner anyway. Like pornographers and computer-saavy hackers can't read the line, type it in and forward whatever deviancy and chaos they're imposing on the world that day in time?
I think the only people it stops are the graffiti-impaired readers like me. I can never make those things out. Is that a V or a Y? I can't determine if the little squiggle at the bottom is a font tail or a bit of graphic scribble. Feeling slightly desperate, I decide it's a Y. WRONG! The Round Two screen comes up. The one with the slightly less scribbled over version for those not bright enough to get it right the first time. Ahhh...this one I can do. But evidently what I thought was a 3 must have been an 8. I flunk this one as well. The Reserved For Idiots screen comes up. Neon letters flash off and on with a voiceover provided by specially trained phonics specialists..."Listen carefully, Stupid, that would be an A, a B, a C and then a 1, a 2 and a 3. Do you need a repeat?"
I beat a hasty and sheepish retreat. By this time, I had forgotten what I wanted to say anyway...